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silly state law Saturday: Arkansas


What Arkansas lacks in strange animal law quantity, they make up for in quality. So let’s get right to it:

• Alligators may not be kept in bathtubs. What is it with people keeping animals in bathtubs? Same law, different animal and state. What about a goldfish in a bathtub? I mean, that would be a castle, basically. So which state is going to outlaw goldfish in the bathtub?

• In Fayetteville, dogs may not bark after 6:00 p.m. Whoever made this law has not ever owned a dog, lived next door to a dog, or known anyone ever in their lives who has had a dog. Actually, this person has never heard of the species “dog.”

• In Fayetteville, it is against the law to make bats and owls into burgers. Wow. Just, wow. I’m gonna go eat a veggie burger right this second. But just one question: Can I make bats or owls into burgers, or is it the fine bat/owl blend that is outlawed? And what type of cheese would go best on that burger? I lied because that was two questions.

• In Fayetteville (animal issues, Fayetteville?), it is unlawful to walk one’s cow down Main Street after 1:00 p.m. on Sunday. Perhaps the cows need a nap after church. Or maybe they interfere with happy hour. One can only guess.

• In Fayetteville, it is illegal to kill any living creature. All is awash; I love you Fayetteville!

In conclusion, alligators are a statewide problem, and Fayetteville has issues. Period.

I can’t wait to check out California (my home state) next week!

If you need a recap:




Law information source: stupidlaws.com and dumblaws.com.

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